The Ogre of the Tulgey Wood
Greetings, world at large, or at least the small handful of siblings who read this thing. Yeah, I'm alive, no, I'm not particularly overjoyed at that. It's been a rough couple of weeks, with Dad visiting the hospital among other things. The shop has not been doing well, today all we got was the high school kids and one guy who wanted to use our bathroom. It's looking more and more like we're not going to be able to make a go of it, the business just isn't there. I'm still planning on attempting a dinner shift come November, but if that doesn't turn things around then my New Year's resolution will be to wash my hands of Union Jack's. Yeah, yeah, small businesses don't make money the first year, but I can't afford to pour Mom's money down that hole forever. It was worth the try, and I'll have learned a lot, but there has to be a point where we say enough. That point is fast approaching.
I've been in a foul mood lately. Part of it's Dad and the business, and the rest of it's that I have very few creative outlets anymore. I don't write much anymore, occasionally a bit of a log for my online game, but I haven't even attempted a story since before I bought the business. I'm a perfectionist, which makes it hard for me to work on something as I'm good at criticizing myself out of even trying, but lately the stress load I'm carrying just finishes the job. I still have stories rolling around in my head, but I just can't bring myself to tell them. It's frustrating. You ever have that problem, Thom?
I'm also coming to the realization that I have more or less no friends in my own city anymore... Andy and I seem to be going our seperate ways, and I've never been good at making friends to begin with. I don't get out much, and I definitely don't strike up conversations with strangers. Sometimes I find myself dreaming of moving to somewhere where I knew absolutely no one knew me. Would I be different there? Would I open up more, knowing that there was no chance of anyone judging me by my past life? Or would I just wall myself off from everyone more securely? It's hard to say. There's a lot I've learned about myself these last few years, and admittedly some of it is good. But I'm still not very good at showing who I am to other people. Most of the time I don't even want to. The point, you ask? There is no point. This is a weblog, after all...
posted by Benneducci @ 10:25 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Let me just say that moving somewhere else doesn't entirely do the trick (been there, tried that). You can't be different unless you actively determine how you DO want to be and actively practice it. You've been you for too long, and you can't just become someone different by accident. And it takes time.
So really, the only thing that would stop you from becoming someone different right where you are is the same thing that would keep you from becoming someone different in a new place: you. It may be a little harder where you're at, but that's more in your head than the people around you not letting you change. They'll let you change, but it will take them some time to get used to that change. And if you work with them, they may even be able to help you with your change.
Moving someplace new is not really the answer in that regard, anyway. You're still who you are until you change, and change takes time, and so anyone you meet in the new place will still have to adapt as you change.
What moving someplace new does for you is to put you in new situations that encourage change by changing your perspectives and your experiences. Since that's an outside-in approach, the change you experience may be random unless you're prepared for it.
So I guess what I'm saying is that without an internal effort to change, merely changing your external perspective has little chance of helping you achieve the change you'd like to see. Starting over fresh has its advantages, but probably not many in the personality change arena. It's generally more the thrill and energizing that comes from tackling something new.
So if you ask me--and you haven't--the question is not so much "would I be different?" but rather "who do I want to be?"
-- This sage counsel brought to you by Thom's Free Advice: Worth every penny you pay!
Well, you see what happened to Thom when he moved - he got married!
Anyway, have you thought about just having a bakery? People love your cookies and you could maybe expand to cakes and pies or whatever.
Hang in there!
Hmm... It's something to think about. If I took out the broiler and the fryer I'd have enough gas to run an oven or two... Actually we just sold the over we had, but we could get more if we needed them I suppose. The big questions are whether there would be enough demand for it. There's already Great Harvest Bread on the next block and a cinnamon-rolls-and-similar-pastries joint opening down the street, but time will tell whether they'll get it off the ground. I was thinking if I went under I'd offer them my services... They don't do cookies, that much I know.
But I guess we'll see what happens. I do make dang good cookies, but switching over to doing that full-time is something I'd really have to think about...
Post a Comment
<< Home