While My Guitar Gently Weeps

I should know better than to let that thing watch chick flicks. But dang it, they're just so good!

Anyhoo! This is a brief post to reassure everyone that yes, I am a disjuncted lunatic trying madly to pierce the reality barrier in hopes of creating a pocket dimension in my own image. But aside from that, life trudges onward. Dad had another bad spot this morning, but he was doing better by the time I got home from work. Yesterday and today were rather decent business-wise, which doesn't make up for the week but it beats being a complete washout. The last farmer's market of the year is tomorrow, and I've got chocolate chip, peanut butter, lemon bars, and mint brownies to sell. On Monday night I'm gonna try and throw a Halloween party down at the shop for friends and family, I've invited both my vastly underpaid employees (though I'll be greatly surprised if Rosenda makes it, she's got family and she's really shy to boot). The exact plans are up in the air, but we'll probably have fun no matter what.

Also, this week we start doing a dinner shift three nights a week. Mom is going to move to doing the night shift entirely, which should make things easier for me as well as easier for her to keep an eye on Dad. Shannon (who has been my drinks runner and emergency cook) is going to take over the day cooking entirely, and the aforementioned Rosenda is taking over as drinks runner. And before any of you brothers of mine start making jokes, yes it's nice to have an all-female crew, but no there's no way any of it's gonna turn into anything romantic or creepy. Chances are good the whole shooting match will fold by New Years anyway.

So that's that for now, with me doing my best to not go manic over the stuff that piles up from every direction. The shop's probably gonna close (I gave the landlady the two months' notice for breaking the lease this week), but I'm going to give it a few last gasps to see if it can turn around. In the meantime, I'll see if I can enjoy the ride. Maybe I should try keeping in better touch with those brothers of mine, seems like we're all going through some tough/weird times lately...

Sailor Nothing Says: "i'm very tired..."

Yes, that's a reference, no, you wouldn't recognize it. It's kinda how I feel this week, though. Things are just weighing heavily in the emotional department around here, and it's really wiping us out. Dad wasn't doing too well today, so Mom stayed home to keep an eye on him while I called in the substitutes at work. Shannon and Rosenda work for peanuts (almost literally), and while I kinda like having Mom at home, I don't like the circumstances. Business remains terrible, but on top of the usual stuff something's got the freshmen on a tear this week. They're extra-loud and obnoxious lately, and today they did everything but smash the candy machine with bone clubs to release its sugary hoard. I'm gonna have to call the guy who owns it this week and find out how much the silly thing costs, so I have something to threaten them with.

On a side note, Mansfield Park is a good movie. I haven't read the book yet, but I would definitely say it meets the requirements for a good Jane Austen flick. Unfortunately, girls like Austen's heroines don't exist anymore, if they ever did... Oh well, it's not like I have twelve thousand pounds a year to tempt any of them with.

Anyway, life stinks, we're trying to cope with it, and high school freshmen need mandatory sedation, or more recess, or something...

The Ogre of the Tulgey Wood

Greetings, world at large, or at least the small handful of siblings who read this thing. Yeah, I'm alive, no, I'm not particularly overjoyed at that. It's been a rough couple of weeks, with Dad visiting the hospital among other things. The shop has not been doing well, today all we got was the high school kids and one guy who wanted to use our bathroom. It's looking more and more like we're not going to be able to make a go of it, the business just isn't there. I'm still planning on attempting a dinner shift come November, but if that doesn't turn things around then my New Year's resolution will be to wash my hands of Union Jack's. Yeah, yeah, small businesses don't make money the first year, but I can't afford to pour Mom's money down that hole forever. It was worth the try, and I'll have learned a lot, but there has to be a point where we say enough. That point is fast approaching.

I've been in a foul mood lately. Part of it's Dad and the business, and the rest of it's that I have very few creative outlets anymore. I don't write much anymore, occasionally a bit of a log for my online game, but I haven't even attempted a story since before I bought the business. I'm a perfectionist, which makes it hard for me to work on something as I'm good at criticizing myself out of even trying, but lately the stress load I'm carrying just finishes the job. I still have stories rolling around in my head, but I just can't bring myself to tell them. It's frustrating. You ever have that problem, Thom?

I'm also coming to the realization that I have more or less no friends in my own city anymore... Andy and I seem to be going our seperate ways, and I've never been good at making friends to begin with. I don't get out much, and I definitely don't strike up conversations with strangers. Sometimes I find myself dreaming of moving to somewhere where I knew absolutely no one knew me. Would I be different there? Would I open up more, knowing that there was no chance of anyone judging me by my past life? Or would I just wall myself off from everyone more securely? It's hard to say. There's a lot I've learned about myself these last few years, and admittedly some of it is good. But I'm still not very good at showing who I am to other people. Most of the time I don't even want to. The point, you ask? There is no point. This is a weblog, after all...